MOST Jr.

Jokes

MOST wishes to acknowledge Conner Smith and the Smith family; Conner's Caringbridge website was the inspiration for this page.

Joke of the Week:

2008

October 10, 2008

What do you call a go-go-dancing pig?

Shakin' bacon.

October 3, 2008

Where did the sheep go after high school?

Ewe-niversity.

September 26, 2008

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a kung fu master?

Lamb chops.

September 19, 2008

Where do baby calves go for lunch?

The calf-eteria.

September 12, 2008

What's a cat's favorite color?

Purrrrrple.

September 5, 2008

What do you get when you cross a parrot with a chameleon?

An animal that repeats every color it sees.

(Contributed to the MOST Jr. joke page by Neil - age 12)

August 29, 2008

Why do cows have bells?

Their horns don't work.

August 22, 2008

What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk.

August 15, 2008

How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb a tree and act like a nut.

August 8, 2008

Why was the rabbit so unhappy?

She was having a bad hare day.

August 1, 2008

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came to
take their drink order...

"I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy.
"I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy.

"I want water, lots and lots of water," said the third little piggy.

The drinks are brought out and the waiter takes their dinner orders.

"I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy.
"I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy.
"I want water, lots and lots of water," said the third little piggy.
The meals are brought out and a while later the waiter approached the
table and asked if the pig's would like any dessert.

"I want a banana split," said the first piggy.
"I want a root beer float," said the second piggy.

"I want water, lots and lots of water," exclaimed the third little piggy.

"Pardon me for asking," said the waiter to the third little piggy, "but why have you only ordered water all evening?" The third piggy says -"Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!"

July 25, 2008

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

July 18, 2008

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have "s" in it?

July 11, 2008

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

July 4, 2008

How is it possible to have a civil war?

June 27, 2008

Does the little mermaid wear?
An algebra!
June 20, 2008
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
June 13, 2008
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
June 6, 2008
How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
May 30, 2008
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
May 23, 2008
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
May 16, 2008
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
May 9, 2008

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

May 2, 2008

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

April 25, 2008

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

April 18, 2008

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

April 11, 2008

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

April 4, 2008

Is there another word for synonym?

March 28, 2008

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

March 21, 2008

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help
section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

March 14, 2008

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

March 7, 2008
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm suffering from Deja Vu!
Didn't I see you yesterday?

February 29, 2008 (Happy Leap Day!)
What's the best way to get King Kong to sit up and beg?
Wave a two-ton banana in front of his nose.

February 22, 2008
What kind of ant can you colour with?
A crayant!

February 15, 2008
What do you call an ant who lives with your great uncle?
Your great-ant!

February 8, 2008
Why is Turtle Wax so expensive?
Because turtles have such tiny ears!

February 1, 2008
Who was the most famous ant scientist?
Albert Antstein!

January 25, 2008
Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do? Use a pencil till I get there.

January 18, 2008
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken's leg!!!

January 11, 2008

Who is the most famous French ant?
Napoleant!

January 4, 2008

What happened when King Kong swallowed Big Ben?
He found time-consuming.

2007

December 28, 2007

What was Camelot?
A place where people parked their camels!

December 21, 2007

Where do ants go for their holidays?
Frants!

December 14, 2007

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a snowman? Frostbite.

December 7, 2007

What medicine would you give an ill ant?
Antibiotics!

November 30, 2007

What did Tarzan say when he heard the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

November 23, 2007

If April showers bring May flowers, then what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!

November 16, 2007

Where do you always need an over coat?

Chile!!

November 9, 2007

What do you call an ant in space?
Cosmonants & Astronants!

November 2, 2007

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the Shell Station!

October 26, 2007

What does a ghost eat for lunch?

Spook-ghetti

October 19, 2007

A sloth is out for a walk when he's mugged by four snails. After recovering his wits, he goes to make a police report. "Can you describe the snails?" asks the officer. "Not well, it all happened so fast," replies the sloth.

October 12, 2007

An FBI agent is interviewing a bank teller after the bank had been robbed 3 times by the same bandit. "Did you notice anything special about the man?" asks the agent. "Yes," replies the teller. "He was better dressed each time."

October 5, 2007

How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed?
You bump your nose on the ceiling.

September 28, 2007

Father: How are your grades, son?
Son: Under water, Dad.
Father: Under water? What do you mean?
Son: They're below C level.

September 21, 2007

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher?
He couldn't control his pupils!

September 14, 2007

The food in our school canteen is perfect.
If you're a bug!

September 7, 2007

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because his class was so bright!

August 31, 2007

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a giant frog?
A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building and catches airplanes with its tongue.

August 24, 2007

What wobbles, can be eaten, and sits in a pram?

A jelly-baby!!

August 17, 2007

What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics?
All sorts of antics!

August 10, 2007

What is as big as King Kong but doesn't weigh anything?
King Kong's shadow.

August 3, 2007

1st Roman Soldier: What is the time?
2nd Roman Soldier: XX past VII!

July 27, 2007

Why are Policemen so strong?

Because they can hold up traffic!!

July 20, 2007

Why can't two elephants go swimming?

Because they only have one pair of trunks!

July 13, 2007

What's in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button

July 6, 2007

Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia?
Must have been a duck family.
A duck family?
Didn't you say there was a quack in it!

June 29, 2007

Doctor: Mrs. Smith, you have acute appendicitis.
Mrs. Smith: I came here to treated, not admired, Doctor!

June 22, 2007

Why did King Kong join the army?
To learn about gorilla warfare.

June 15, 2007

What do you do if King Kong sits in front of you at the cinema?
Miss most of the film!

June 8, 2007

What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater!

June 1, 2007

What is smaller than an ant's dinner?
An ant's mouth!

May 25, 2007

What do you call an ant who skips school?
A truant!

May 18, 2007

Student: But I don't think I deserve a zero on this exam.
Teacher: Neither do I, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.

May 11, 2007

Ants play what game with elephants?
Squash!

May 4, 2007
Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbor?
Pupil: Because it can't sit down!

April 27, 2007

Have you heard the tale of the brick wall?

I couldn't tell you, you'd never get over it!

April 20, 2007
Why did the parrot wear a raincoat?
So he could be polyunsaturated

April 13, 2007
Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage.
Don't talk rubbish!

April 6, 2007
What did the egg say to the other egg?
Let's get cracking!

March 30, 2007

What's big and hairy and climbs up the Empire State Building in a dress?
Queen Kong.

March 23, 2007

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a sheep.
That's baaaaaaaaaad!

March 16, 2007

What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel!

March 9, 2007

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bell?

Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!

March 2, 2007

How can you mend King Kong's arm if he's twisted it?
With a monkey wrench.

February 23, 2007

Waiter, your thumb is in my soup.
Don't worry Sir, it's not hot!!

February 16, 2007

Why did the ant-elope?
Nobody gnu!

February 9, 2007

Doctor, how do I stop my nose from running?!
Stick your foot out and trip it up!

February 2, 2007

What do you call a 100 year old ant?
An antique!

January 26, 2007

Great news, teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine.
So what's so great about that?
It's snowing outside!

January 19, 2007

What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house?
The Lizard of Oz!

January 12, 2007

Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses
You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!

January 5, 2007

What is the biggest ant in the world?
An elephant!

2006

December 29, 2006

Why was the chicken afraid of the chicken?
It was a chicken

December 22, 2006

Why does Santa enjoy working in the garden?

Because he likes to Ho-Ho-Ho!

December 15, 2006

What do you call a rich frog?
A golf blooded reptile!

December 8, 2006

Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons?
Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train!

December 1, 2006

What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life!

November 24, 2006

What’s a frogs favorite game?
It's croak-et!

November 17, 2006

What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
An independent!

November 10, 2006

When were King Arthur's army too tired to fight?
When they had lots of sleepless knights!

November 3, 2006

What do you say to a cow that crosses in front of your car? Mooo-ve over.

October 27, 2006

What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher? Lots of blood tests!

October 20, 2006

Why don't anteaters get sick?
Because they are full of antibodies!

October 13, 2006

Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the Body Shop!!

October 6, 2006

What's the definition of a nervous breakdown?
A chameleon on a tartan rug!

September 29, 2006

What kind of food do math teachers eat?
Square meals!

September 22, 2006

Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Fred's test paper.
Pupil: I hope you didn't see me either!
Teacher: You copied from Fred's exam paper didn't you?
Pupil: How did you know?
Teacher: Fred's paper says "I don't know" and you have put "Me, neither"

September 15, 2006
How do bees get to school?
By school buzz!